Talking Tips: Early Years

Talking Tips: 

  • START FROM BIRTH! This will help the talks feel more natural and easy. The talks will grow as your child does.
  • Teach and use appropriate names for body parts (ie penis, vagina/vulva, breasts). Saying things like “private parts” is okay, but avoid using words like bad, yucky, no-no, or gross when talking about body parts.
  • Teach children that secrets are not allowed, even ones that appear harmless. But, surprises that make us feel happy and we’ll all know about soon are okay!
  • Always have multiple adults and/or multiple children present in public or social settings.
  • Allow kids to decide who touches, hugs or kisses them, even if it’s family.
  • And, finally, HAVE SHORT, FREQUENT CONVERSATIONS. It doesn’t have to be long or perfect. The talks will grow over time.

Common Questions Kids Ask:

Kids are curious, and the more prepared we are for their questions, the better we can answer them. When your child asks you questions about sex, body parts or babies, one thing you can do is ask them what they already know or have heard and where they heard it from. That way, you are on the same page as them and know where they are learning information.

Common questions to be prepared for are:

  • What is sex? Do you have sex? Does it hurt?
  • Why do boys have penises and girls have vaginas?
  • How are babies made? Where do babies come from?
  • Kids will often ask about something they see/hear on TV, music or online. Learn more about how to monitor your child’s online activity.

WHEN A QUESTION ARISES:

  • Be honest and don’t shy away – Don’t make a big deal out of it and let the conversation arise and evolve naturally. Your child will look to your response for how they should feel about the topic. If you’re comfortable, they will be, too.
  • Ask them, “What do you know about that? Where/Who did you hear that from?”
  • Keep the conversations short and frequent, so it feels normal but not too heavy. It’s easier for children to process and learn small pieces of information over time.
  • When your child asks a question, use that as an opportunity to have a short, honest conversation.
  • Car rides are a great time for these conversations because there is less pressure for eye contact and there is a clear stopping point when the ride is over.
  • Use what your child sees or hears on TV, music, or online to kick start a conversation: What’s real? What’s fiction?
  • Remember—you don’t have to be perfect. This conversation will grow as your child grows.
  • Perhaps most importantly, make sure your child knows that if something happens, it’s NEVER their fault — (When abuse is suspected, discovered or disclosed)